Ever feel out of control? Your chest is heavy, you can’t breathe, you start pulling and tugging at your clothes. That bottle or jar you always felt trapped in “physically” because you could not run, jump, or be active suddenly feels real! No longer an analogy but very much a reality. A reality you hear many people disregard or belittle.
Ever notice how people pick and choose what diseases or conditions they consider relevant? The ones you physically see are usually more accepting. Me for example my disability is noticeable. I must have aide to be “safely” mobile. I mainly use a rollater when I’m out by myself. I always get the question inquiring about my physical state compared to my appearance in age. The public obviously sees I need the rollater but judge when I first pull-up in a handicap parking space. I surely don’t “look” like I need the power shopping cart while shopping in it until I get up. Sometimes my situation is accepting, other times, people are not sure.
People understand what they “know” and may struggle to accept what is “unfamiliar”. Never feeling what or how you feel. The feeling of confinement, trapped in your own body, or maybe you feel like know one understands? You wanted to go to that family gathering, you didn’t make it to your uncle’s funeral, or you’re tired of not supporting your child’s school physically. It’s not that it happens occasionally, you can’t be involved more times than you actually can participate in things that are important to you. After a repetitive scenario you began to feel like your third grade class hamster stuck on that silly wheel going through the motions getting absolutely nowhere! It’s an out-of-control feeling, never getting a break from the pain and fatigue. Using your energy and everything you’ve got, to get absolutely nowhere- or so it seems…
A diagnosis of anxiety on top of multiple sclerosis definitely set my world upside down this summer. I can’t express to you how many times I have felt “out of control”. I’m gonna start by saying that the anxiety and depression community definitely deserves more respect than given. Let me be clear when I say, I commend anyone who has struggled with anxiety at any point in their life. It is not fun, it is not easy!
Keep in mind there are ways to handle this particular situation. Number one is being honest with yourself that it can be an issue if you let it. It already is an issue if you’ve been diagnosed. It is definitely a hard adjustment. The hardest part is staying in control and not allowing the situation to scare you 😱😰😭when it shows up. Learning how to respond instead of react has been one of the biggest lessons for me. I remind myself of this daily and realize I must take anxiety one day one step at a time just like multiple sclerosis. I am a mother and wife first. Taking the time to communicate with my family about how some things are different and a plan of how we as a family together can Stay in Control is a working progress with many challenges. I know I must be mature enough to keep in close contact with my doctor, and use the research given! It’s a must, that way my family can stay in control. It is OK to get help, talk to someone.